I'll Be Home For Christmas
by NettieC
Summary: Oneshot Songfic.  Mac is in DC for Christmas and Harm isn't, for him the distance brings little comfort and some realisations. Read and review  Merry Christmas


_**Disclaimer: Neither the characters or the song are mine…just instilling a little Christmas Spirit.**_

_**Dedicated to Jeanaz – who's generosity and friendship epitomises Christmas**_

_**--------------------------------------------I'll Be Home For Christmas ----------------------------------------**_

**Christmas Eve**

Daylight stretched into the evening and there was an unfamiliar warmth to the air. After many cold and snowy Christmases in DC, one in La Jolla would be a welcome relief. At least that's what Harm told his mother and step-father when his plans to get back to DC for Christmas fell through.

Harm had been TAD in San Diego since early November. A two week assignment had stretched out further and further and it was December 21st before he finally conceded he would be stuck in California over Christmas.

He tried to put it all into perspective. Christmas with his parents would be great, something he hadn't done in a long time but he would miss going to The Wall to see his dad. He would miss Christmas with his JAG family, to be held once again at the Roberts', but then again this year he was with his real family. He would miss Mac…and as much as he tried he couldn't think of anything which would compensate for that.

_Mac…_he shook his head, _god, I miss you. _

Wrapping the last of his mother's presents in his bedroom, he listened to the sounds around the house. His mother was chatting to Mrs McHugh from next door and Frank was knocking something into the wall in the study, probably trying to hang the painting his mother had brought home. There were Christmas carols playing in the sitting room and the soft tones made their way up to him.

He hummed away as he attached the bow and proclaimed the gift 'a wrap'; he was struck by the lyrics of the next song.

_I'll be home for Christmas  
You can count on me  
Please have snow and mistletoe  
And presents under the tree  
Christmas Eve will find me  
Where the love light beams  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams_

_Christmas Eve will find me  
Where the love light beams  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams  
If only in my dreams_

Sitting down on his bed he found himself getting all misty eyed. He was home, physically. Being in La Jolla with his parents was home, DC was a posting. Yes, he lived there but up until he heard the song he would never have considered it 'home'. But late on Christmas Eve he knew it was the only home he wanted to be.

"Harm, phone!" Frank yelled up the stairs. He trotted down the stairs, plastering an 'I'm really happy to be here' smile on his face and picked up the receiver.

"Merry Christmas, Uncle Harm," AJ Roberts said brightly.

"Merry Christmas, kiddo," he replied, a lump moving into his throat.

"We're having a great time here, getting ready for everyone tomorrow," the boy reported.

"You should have a great time," Harm acknowledged.

"Wish you were coming too, Uncle Harm. Aunty Mac does too – I heard her telling mom just before," AJ confessed.

"Aunty Mac's there…?" Harm asked.

"Yeah, you wanna talk to her?" Before Harm could reply he heard AJ calling out for her and before long her voice drifted across the country and settled right in his heart.

"Harm?"

"Yeah…Hi Mac, Merry Christmas," Harm said slowly, wondering why he was so nervous all of a sudden.

"Merry Christmas to you and your parents! How's life in California?" she asked cheerfully.

"Good," was all he could answer.

"And the case...?" she asked.

"Good..."

"And your parents? They must be happy to have you there," Mac enthused.

"They're good…They're happy," he replied.

He could hear Mac take a deep breath.

"Everything alright, Harm, you sound a bit strange?" she asked.

"Everything's fine," he replied, lying to his best friend.

Everything was far from fine…far, far, far from it. It was Christmas Eve and the woman on the phone to him was happy and celebrating Christmas and may as well have been a million miles away. She was the only thing he wanted for Christmas, the only one he wanted to see, to be with. Mac's was the face he saw when he closed his eyes each and every day since he started this assignment and each and every night.

Before he'd left DC they had spent considerable time together in non-work related things. They had fallen into a pattern of spending weekends hanging out together, talking and relaxing. Enjoying each other's company and relishing in the comfort they found in each other. And while they hadn't moved their relationship forward past the 'more than friends – not quite lovers' stage, Harm had been hopeful…very hopeful. Now his hopes for a Mac-filled Christmas were gone, he had to take comfort in her voice…it was the only thing he had.

"Harm, what's wrong?" she asked, not believing him in the least.

"Nothing, really, Mac. I guess I'm a little tired, this case has been harder than I thought," he replied.

"Oh, okay then, I'll do the talking…" she said before beginning a long rambling, one-sided conversation on everything which was happening in DC in the lead up to Christmas.

Harm threw in a few short words and grunts so she knew he was listening but contributed nothing. Instead he closed his eyes and let her voice wash over him and her laughter delight him.

Suddenly her voice changed. "Oh God, Harm, this phone call must be costing a fortune. I shouldn't have gone on with all this stuff. I'm so sorry, you should have stopped me."

"Don't apologise, Mac, it's only money," he said, knowing he would give the Roberts his entire bank account just to keep her on the line.

"Look, I'll go. I'll try and call you tomorrow but if I can't …Merry Christmas Flyboy," she said.

"Merry Christmas, Sarah," he said before he moved to replace the receiver. "I love you."

Trish came into the room and watched her son as he still sat on the arm of the sofa looking at the phone, his lifeline to Mac broken.

"Was that Sarah?" she asked.

"Yeah, she said Merry Christmas," he replied, willing the tears from his eyes before his mother saw them.

"What is she doing for Christmas?" she asked, moving closer to him.

"She's with Bud and Harriet and the kids. AJ's so excited she's sleeping over Christmas Eve," Harm said, his fake smile back in place as he looked at her.

"That'll be nice for her, for all of them," Trish replied, not fooled by his smile at all.

"Yeah, it will be. Look, mom, I have a few more things to wrap up there so I'll just go do them now," Harm said and took off up the stairs before she could comment.

**Christmas Day**

Harm awoke to the same Christmas CD playing and once again the notes drifted up and the lyrics tore at his heart.

Mac had filled his dreams in his night of fitful slumber. In one dream they were walking hand in hand along a beautiful Hawaiian beach. In another they were snowbound in a cabin in Vermont. In yet another, they were facing each other in court…no matter what the setting they all ended the same way – horizontal.

He sighed deeply.

The carol ended and another one began as Harm headed to the bathroom to shower. He caught the strains of his mother talking excitedly to someone else and smiled, he would put the effort in for his mother's sake…she was happy he was home and he wouldn't disappoint her.

Showered, dressed, his smile in place he descended the stairs and greeted his mom and step-dad.

"Merry Christmas, mom," he said, taking her in a warm embrace.

"Merry Christmas, Harm," she replied, with a grin.

"Merry Christmas, Frank," he said moving to him and embracing him.

"Merry Christmas to you too, son," Frank replied, with a smirk.

"You both seem very happy," Harm said, more as a question.

"It's Christmas!!!" They replied in unison and Harm could only groan.

Midmorning, after brunch, they moved into the sitting room and exchanged gifts.

Frank and Trish were impressed with the gifts Harm had bestowed on them. State of the art fishing rod and equipment for Frank to use on his next fishing trip and an easel and oil paint set for his mother's new hobby.

He looked at the small box his mother was pressing into his hand, a huge grin spreading from her face to Frank's. Slowly he unwrapped it and studied the present within. Airline tickets for two to Hawaii with accommodation on the same beach he'd dreamed of last night. Shaking his head he muttered his thanks.

"You don't seem too happy, Harm," Frank remarked.

"Oh, I am thanks – I was just…" he voice trailed. He wanted to go with Mac; it would be the perfect place for them. God, the fires of hell would be fine so long as they were together.

"But that's not all," Trish said, getting to her feet. "There's a second part." She glanced at the clock, at Frank, at Harm and back to the clock. Harm watched the events play out but before he could comment the doorbell rang. As Trish moved to answer it 'I'll be home for Christmas' began to play again and Harm bit down on his lip…the rendition hitting him hard…How he longed to be home, with Mac.

Hearing voices behind him he turned to look and his fake, plastered smile dissipated and was replaced by the most genuine one ever to adorn his face.

"Merry Christmas, Flyboy," Mac said, and smiled at the delight she saw on his face.

"Merry Christmas, Mac," he whispered as he quickly made his way to her.

Only inches apart they stopped, knowing the next move would change everything.

Neither noticed Trish or Frank slip out of the room. Neither noticed the breeze coming in from the still opened front door. There was nothing in the room, in the world but them. Finally, Harm reached out and gently caressed her cheek, wanting to make sure she was actually real.

Mac put her hand on top of his, holding it to her face before leaning into it. "It's really me, Harm," she whispered.

"Just wanted to be sure," Harm replied equally quietly.

Silence ensued as blue eyes search brown ones.

"Why…how…I mean…last night…?" Harm began, a million thoughts swirling around.

"Trish called me and Frank made the arrangements and hey presto - I'm part two of your Christmas present," Mac said, closing the gap ever so slightly.

"Oh!" Harm murmured as Mac moved closer still.

"And I just thought I'd like to be home for Christmas," she whispered.

Harm stared at her. "But Mac, your home is in DC."

"No, my home is with the man who loves me…wherever it may be," Mac said, slipping her arms around his waist.

"Oh," he replied, slowly.

"And his place is to be with the woman who loves him." She smiled as his arms surrounded her. "And I do love you, Harm."

His sigh of relief could have been heard in DC. "I love you, Sarah."

"I know, Flyboy, I heard you."

Before any more time could be wasted his lips crashed down on hers, sealing their future, realising their Christmas dreams and giving them both their first true sense of home in a very long time.


End file.
